Things Are Going Great!!

Someone was sharing their hate for their friend's man the other day and it led me to break things down...

Most women can say they've been in situations where they dislike their friend's significant other. There's always some flaw that the friend can't stand and as friends, we always believe our girl is to good for the man she's with. Now who's fault is that?

Reality is most of us are quick to blame the guy for being a jerk or the friend for being a "hater". However we hardly ever blame the girlfriend in the relationship. A mistake women in relationships make is running to their girlfriends when the man does something wrong. But do we ever run to our girlfriends when the man does something right? Never. Why?

1. We don't want to show off or make someone else feel bad.
I think most women, especially the ones we grew up with try to be modest. It's hard to go to someone in a messed up relationship or no relationship at all and tell them how your man just gave you the world just for the hell of it. We never want to seem like we're bragging. However, if you have the right group of friends, it should be safe to assume that they'd be happy for you.

2. We're afraid to "jinx" it.
Now this reason sounds silly but I'll explain why it's logical. If you have ever witnessed a relationship gone totally wrong after it seemed extremely right, then you will always have the fear of the same thing happening to you. This isn't the right way to think though. When we do this to ourselves it makes it harder to live in the present. You'd be so focused on what's to come that you'd miss out how great things are now. Again, even if things didn't turn out as planned, good friends would be happy for you when you're happy and stick around if things break down.

3. We don't want to feel "dumb" later on.
Much like #2, this is a pessimistic way to think. It is natural for things to change. Your excitement might be gone after a week, a month, a year etc. But at least you had a point of excitement. So why not share that? I might be in love with Thai food today and hate it next year and I highly doubt anyone would ever tease me about how wrong I was for loving Thai food and say "I told you so" for me hating it later. So why would it be any different with anything else, career, love, family, life, etc. All that to say that once again the right group of friends would accept changes in our lives and support each other.

Obviously, in all these scenarios there is one common denominator: friends. People, if we know our friends will be there for us when we are feeling down and out why can't we assume our friends will be there when we are happy as well?

I think it will take some time for us to grow out of our "share your problems but keep your happiness to yourself" type of attitude. Until we all stop feeling guilty for having things go well, we won't snap out of it. We all need to learn to empower each other and share all our positive experiences. Also, women, some of you need to stop hating, because when you hate, people can't help but bring negative vibes around you and therefore you'll never grow.

The next time you are surrounded by great friends chat about how great things are going with everyone. Don't just listen, share what's good with you as well. I know I'll be working on that goal myself.