I have to admit I've been holding myself back from writing about the whole Chris Brown / Rihanna situation because I feel most blogs and newspapers are cashing in on this horrible situation and it's now a cliche to chime in. However, after seeing the picture of Rihanna's badly beaten face last night, I couldn't help myself.
The picture makes me angry to say the least. Angry that young men and women alike have responded with "we have to hear the full story" Here's all I needed to know, a young man hit a woman he was dating in the face several times to the point where she was badly bruised. Now that's all I need to know. I don't care if that girl was caught in a threesome with two crackheads, or if she pulled out a knife or kicked you twice in the shin...what this man did to this woman is WRONG! Now the problem is everyone is brainwashed by the media's portrayal of Chris Brown and the couple's celebrity status. These young superstars are PEOPLE before they are anything else and this only highlights a problem the is hardly ever spoken about in our society. Domestic violence is NOT ok and I hate to hear the whole "what did she do" question because it's as if we were saying "maybe she deserved it" Until we all take a no nonsense stance on these sort of situations, it will continue happening to girls all over the world and young men will continue to think it's ok.
Now that I have that off my chest, this brings me to my next point. When do we as women know something is wrong? I've never been in an abusive relationship so I don't know how I'd react. Don't abusive men show signs from the beginning or at least early on? How do we know when we need to get out of a situation? If you walk into a smoking building don't you assume there's a fire and walk out or do you stay there until you see the flames coming at you? How do we teach our daughters, nieces, sisters, cousins and friends to walk out of a situation if there are signs? I can't say I have answers to any of these questions, but these are conversations we should be having amongst our friends and family. Situations like this make me believe raising a daughter will be much more difficult than raising a son.
Then again, this is where it begins. Raising sons that will not only know when to walk away from a situation but will also stand up for a victim of domestic violence. In most of the blogs I've read, there are very few young men coming to Rihanna's defense. I think this bothers me more than the girls that are justifying the situation. Where are the men that will be the future role models? Maybe they aren't on the blogs, that's all. I don't think so...I have a feeling many men have the "wow that was wrong...moving on" mentality. Some even go as far as to say "damn if that was my daughter, I would kill that guy" But how many men out there are thinking "wow I need to teach my son that those things aren't ok so that he never does something like that" I mean in reality, this is where it all started, a young man who watched his mother get beaten. Either way, there are no excuses and this is a very complex subject that makes me feel angry yet helpless.
On that note, my only hope is that despite what Chris Brown fans might think of her, Rihanna will eventually speak out, take a stand against domestic violence and be a proud representative for young women everywhere. But she's still a very young girl in love and one can only dream.
Just Another Rihanna/Chris Brown Post In The Internet World
Posted by CurlyFries at 2/20/2009 10:31:00 AM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
4 comments:
oh my god! I totally agree with everything you said. I get angry but feel helpless. I can't ever imagine being in a relationship like that. I did ask myself if that happened before or was it the first time. Even worst I wonder how much worst the situation would have been if it happened at home behind closed doors. I thank God I have never been in a physical abusive relationship. with that said I'm on your page ... are there previous signs or do some ppl just snap!?
I know one person who was a victim of domestic violence and from what I understood the relationship was nothing like that in the beginning. I always say once it happens the first time it will happen again so run! however sometimes it happens years into the relationship at that point some ppl are so blinded by love that they let it happen again and again sadly it happens until its too late - someone just too far. I also hope that she comes out and speaks up and doesn't excuse his actions or stay shut.
seeing that picture made me feel even worse for her. sad thing is ive heard men say "she deserved". makes me question wat is on their mind. but i do not agree...no one deserves to get beaten not even men. we cant just focus on male on female abuse, but recognize that abuse also exists vice versa. so we need to educate everyone the same...hittin is not the solution to a problem. unfortunatley rihanna may end up forgiving him and they may end up together bc tha's just how people in love do. watever she decides i hope that she learns from this experience and does take a stand agaisnt domestic abuse. only time will tell. as for us we can only continue to learn from these situations.
I feel you but I have to respectfully disagree with some of your statements. We do need to hear all the details before we judge without bias. Reacting with emotion to a story or a picture clouds our judgement to the realities of the situation. First let me say I am in no way, condoning the allegations, but lets get real for a minute.
-"Domestic violence is NOT ok and I hate to hear the whole "what did she do" question because it's as if we were saying "maybe she deserved it"
Domestic violence is not ok in any shape or form wether at the hands of a man or a woman and It's not about "maybe she deserved it" as with any story wether on tv, newspapers, online, or even from a friend, the first questions is what happened, what lead up to this altercation. Now to be fair there are cases where people have spazzed out without warning but I think its safe to assume that the car ride didn't go like this CB: damn baby you look really beautiful today, you know I love you right? to the next second screamin Imma Kill you Bitch!!! Domestic Violence like all human behaviors are of an escalating nature. Most people don't start robbing banks from jump or start smoking crack from jump and most people don't go directly into choke/bite/lump up a bitch mode.
-"Don't abusive men/women show signs from the beginning or at least early on? How do we know when we need to get out of a situation? If you walk into a smoking building don't you assume there's a fire and walk out or do you stay there until you see the flames coming at you?"
That my dear is the million dollar question. In most instances when you 1st meet a person your meeting their "representative", but eventually the real person will come out, what you do when the flags start popping up is up to the individual. Some people make poor choices.
-"there are very few young men coming to Rihanna's defense. I think this bothers me more than the girls that are justifying the situation."
I think thats because when men hear stories like this, they tend to reflect on situations wether either personally or they have witnessed situations (especially in public) where significant others (of both sexes) have pushed buttons to get a reaction. Most people can keep their cool and walk away, which in some cases can fan the flames( the whole don't you walk away from me when Im talking to you scenario), and women I've talked to or overheard convos about this situation reflect on some of their behavior in the past with significant others (none of these women never claimed to be victims of Domestic Violence) and realized that this is as you said a complex subject and there is so many variables. Doesn't make it right or wrong, just sayin
_ "Where are the men that will be the future role models? Maybe they aren't on the blogs, that's all. I don't think so...I have a feeling many men have the "wow that was wrong...moving on" mentality. Some even go as far as to say "damn if that was my daughter, I would kill that guy" But how many men out there are thinking "wow I need to teach my son that those things aren't ok so that he never does something like that" I mean in reality, this is where it all started, a young man who watched his mother get beaten."
Your making the assumption that the Men that are in their childs lives (which granted are fewer than we all would like) don't already do that. Obviously this young man didn't have that male figure in his life to guide him which is another piece of this puzzle. And what does it say to our young women where they see these situations and the victim stays with the abuser, again another part of the cycle that is all to familiar unfortunately .
Like I know you were trying to make a point but to say "I don't care if a women pulls a knife"? your trippin with that statement. Just like with most things in this world there are rarely black and white situations but rather a whole lot of shades of gray, we are all responsible for our choices paths we take in life,there's always 3 sides to a story, he said, she said, and the truth. You have every right to feel the way you do, I can understand and appreciate your views 100% I just respectfully disagree with some.
granted he did beat the shit outta her. sometimes ppl can provoke ass whoopins. not sayin his was justified. but i agree with finding out the whole story. as of now everything is one-sided.
Post a Comment